I am senstive when it comes to family. I realize that people aren't perfect, especially my own family, but what chaffs me is their lack of foresight.
Everyone is thrilled when a baby comes into the family, "fresh from heaven", as a family friend would say. But mention bringing in an adopted child and the excitement isn't the same, there are concerns, fears, misconceptions and a butt load of "what if's."
Telling people that you are answering your heart's call, isn't easy to put into words. I had one family member call us selfish, and sent us a long email of how full of their judgments and how this isn't Christ's will, which ended off with:
"If Veronica really wants to do something worthwhile she should get job."
Yeah, they really said that, as though they view mothering a motherless child isn't a worth while job. So what happenes with all these little unseen cuts? I know they will have to be address and handled with care. I'm scared by how certain family members will react to our child.
Some don't matter because the persons who said them don't play a big role in our families lives, but what about the ones who do play a greater role in our family's lives. I know better than most how words can leave permant scars on a person's soul. If their words are hurting me I can only imagine how their careless words will affect our adopted child.
Will they see her as someone less, and will not count her as their "real" relative? If they can't accept our daughter do we cut back on visits or severe ties completely (which may result in them blaming the child). Of course, I am prepared to do that as a last result.
I hope that they will come around, but I feel they've tainted themselves now. That they won't accept our child with open arms. They will be judging her more harshly, because we didn't raise her for the first few years of her life. They are prejuice against her already and they haven't even met her.
I wish I knew how others coped with this, because I can't be the only one going through this who's relatives are so narrow minded.