Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Focusing on Parenting...

Attachment focused Parenting by Daniel A. Hughes.

I know I have mentioned it a few times that I'm doing a fair bit of reading on parenting an adopted child, more importantly a child with attachment issues.  I've read several books and I'm struggling on another one to work my way through.  But this one IS worth the effort.  The language is wordy, and some of the terminalogy doesn't stick in my head.  I never responded well with lecturing, even though this author gives examples I find reading it in smaller doses helps me process what he is saying.

I've been trying to use what he is teaching with my kids and well, I find I often am butting heads with Dale as he will cut straight to the point when I'm dealing with them, instead of letting me dig deeper into their behaviours.  I've explained to him what I have been trying to do and he's starting to ease off. 

One thing I have been doing lately and I have really noticed it with my kids, is instead of saying "You" as in "Can you put your backpack away?" (which has always lead to several unanwered responses and it not being done at all) to "I" as in "I noticed that your backpack is blocking the door."  Well gosh darn it  if he didn't pick it up and move it to where it was suppose to go.  I've been doing this almost everyday for a week now and I am floored by the results.  It's like magic.  They even helped clean up the family room a couple of times without complaint.

Some of the other phrases he suggests to speak to the inner child I find hard mostly because my kids look at me rather strange, so maybe I'll hold back on the phrases.  I have been making more of a point to ask my kids questions, trying to dig deep beneath the surface, there is always a reason to their behaviour.  It may not make sense to us, but it helps to understand what is going on better with them.

So far though, I think this writer is bang on about somethings.  It is important to be curious about what is going on inside your child as well as outside.  It's important to be sympathic as well as empathic, admit your mistakes, and to always repair the relationship when needed.

I wish I could speed through this book faster as it is two weeks overdue, but I'm hopeful I'll finish it next week or so...maybe a little longer.

Monday, 20 June 2011

Canada Postal Strike...

Another day, another mailbox empty.  (My keyboard is typing with an accent today so forgive my accented ès and other oddities.)

I have to admit Ièm started to get worried.  Really worried.  With the strike happening and a month deadline for the Hosting program, friends going away on vacations, and no mail being delivered. Waiting six weeks for the medical reports (and we still have to get our current family doctor to sign off on them)  We are under crunch time, and Ièm starting to panick.  I really want the strike to end.  I see postal mail carriers wandering the street with their bags carrying little, and I want to jump out of my car and scream at them. Just because it isnèt a goverment check in the mail weère expecting, our mail is more important to us than money. It is a dream of hope, a life changing experience, for both us and the child we are planning on hosting that we are being denied.  

I realize that stamping my foot and crying up to the Powers That Be: It is not fair! Is a pointless gesture and one I would be quite embarssed at my age to make, but still... (sigh)

I have learned a long, long time ago life is not fair, and fate has a way of putting kinks in the best laid plans.  Nevertheless I will hold onto my hope, pray to God, and while it isnèt fair, I will do my utmost to hold my head, and stand strong against despair.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

The Final Tally is in...

Well we did okay.  My goal was $300.00 (though I hoped for more)  We made $285.00, including the bake sale which brought in $42.00.

Things I would change:

More tables.  We had three, I think 6 would have been better.
Less clothes
Take things out of boxes. ( which I would have done if I had more tables.)  As it was I set most of the items where I could, and filling up spaces as items sold.
Have more craft items, yarn and sewing kits went like hot cakes. Fabric not so much.
Tools ~ did well too.

And it wouldn't hurt to have another body to help out.  Two adults weren't enough when one of us had to get out of the sun.

 I honestly wish I had made more banana nut bread, because they sold within minutes of being brought out.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Exhausted, Tired and Done!

Our garage sale happened today.  It went okay.  We still have about half the stuff we put out not including the stuff we didn’t.   Things we thought would sell quickly didn’t sell at all, and things we didn’t think would sell sold.  It was a backwards kind of day it seemed, and a great learning experience for all.  This was our first garage sale ever.

The boys worked supper hard, our youngest was out there most of the time, staying seated at the Bake Sale table we put up with an umbrella overhead.  The Bake Sale did better than I thought it would.  I kept it simple with chocolate jumbles, macaroons, chocolate dipped pretzels, two types of muffins, peanut butter cookies, and banana bread.  We also sold water.  We have yet to ring in the total, but I am satisfied with our efforts.  We didn’t bring in a profound amount of money.  Met lots of nice people, and got to know the neighbours a little better which is always a good thing.

I picked up too much sun, and despite my efforts to keep cool and seek shade it wasn’t enough.  I had to bail out just when we started packing up, due to a killer headache and nausea, and Dale ended up putting what didn’t sell back in the garage.  Poor guy!  The boys helped a little with the clean up, but knowing Dale, he finds it faster to do things himself.
I'm still feeling a little queasy so I'm going to end here.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Doctors 1 Albers 4...

Please let us count off the excuses...

We're going to mail them,
We did mail them,
We haven't mailed them, it will be done on Wednesday. 
We couldn't read the address.
We didn't know if they were willing to pay for them to be mailed (after we already told them we would).
We did mail them and it was returned. 

Yesterday  was a real kicker when I went to my doctor's appt, and the secretary informed me that she received a fax from our former doctor's secretary saying that she knew they had requested files but couldn't remember the names of those who requested it.  ???

We did it though! Dale made a special 1 1/2 hour trip to our old doctor's office, went to Staples to pick up toner for them, and waited around for several hours while they photo copied our files. He brought home mine, his and two of our three children. It is beyond the point of being insane to have Dale arrive and get the full truth that they haven't even started copying them???

Dale was happy to see our beloved doctor at the front desk instead of the Nitwits she hired.  The Nitwits came in later, and were taken back to see him standing there.  I'm just happy, so very happy, to have the files in our possession.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Fundraising Yard Sale...A week away.

Wow, Wow and WOW!  This coming Saturday we are planning to host our Yard & Bake Sale.  I have half a house filled, and them some with donated goods.  The generosity of people can be so profound; I received an email last week from someone who had a couple of things for me to pick up.  Her parents had moved to a retirement home and she wanted what was left over to go to a good cause.  I went over expecting a couple of boxes and I left with a van full of dishes, appliances and more house wares.  My main donator has been my best friend who practically gave me her house, well not the house, or the major appliances but almost everything else in it. 

I planned to spend this week doing a baking marathon; however, the City threw a wrench in my plans as I have been drafted for jury selection.  Not that I mind doing my civic duty, I just mind the inconvenience it may bring.  If the kids were older, and, well... more socially stable I wouldn’t have to worry.  Preston has a knack of getting an idea in his head thinking it is funny and it is just wrong.  I have imagines of the police coming to my house because Preston’s decided to serenade the neighbours with his horns, or just screaming at the passing cars for going too fast.  Thank goodness he got over mooning strangers a few years back.

Think of Benny & Joon with an ADHD Mr. Bean, and that is my Preston.  Cheerful, delightful, thinks outside the box and certainly marches to his own drum. 

Friday, 10 June 2011

And the Ping Pong Ball continues to bounce...

There are times when a sense of humor is absolutely vitual to ones sanity. The Doctors match of Ping Pong is almost at an end (or is it?).  Last week my former family doctor's secretary said she had mailed our medical records to our new family doctor.  However, upon further investigation it was discovered that she had posted the address incorrectly and so our medical records were in fact mailed and then sent back to them.  ROFL!!! &  OMG!!! 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this point.  We haven't even gotten to the more challenging International papers yet.  Our new family doctor's secretary is earning a mountain of brownie points and then some, as she has been calling trying to discover what the issues are with our medical files. 

Seriously, it has been 6 weeks since we requested them to be transferred.  It does make me feel glad that this wasn't a life and death situtation otherwise this could have been a real dilemma.

Monday, 6 June 2011

Canada Post on Strike...

Yikes!  At least they seem to be doing rolling protests.  Counting my blessings and naming them one by one.