Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Sibling Group Adoption... (International or not)

With everything that I`ve read I have to say that at some point I would love to adopt a sibling group.  Not just a small one but an insanely big one.  I am talking 5-7 kids, they are out there, and though I will give a cautionary warning that though adoption isn`t for the faint of heart, and adopting a sibling group would offer its own unique challenges.  It is on my life list of things I would like to do.

Despite our intial plan of adopting a pair of siblings, and reading up on R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder) we switched to adopt a single girl.  I don't regret this decision as it is not just myself that is involved.  However, I do tend to view this adoption more as getting "the feet wet before jumping into the lake" experience.  

With all my heart I want to open my home and my life to a large sibling group, and I hope that, that one day, will come soon enough. 

If you do wish to adopt a sibling group, take lots of time with the children before you make your final decision and be informed.  Some siblings groups have issues with jealousy, and view their siblings as threats rather then friends.  Living in different homes/orphanages can compound these views. 

Adopting a teenager can be a wonderful thing, don't be threatened if they take on the role of parent.  Work with them on it, they've been parenting their siblings for years, and that isn't easy to reliquish. 

On a final note, Life can royally suck. It kicks, bites, and even spews septic gunk at you.  But sometimes, just sometimes there is a soft bed, a kind word or even a smile that shows someone noticed you.  I want to give that to feeling of worth to others who have been through the worst of life.  And if the Fates be willing I will do so, again, and again, and again, and again.

Monday, 26 September 2011

AHH! Certificate of Good Conduct (Vog)

Why is something so simple as filling out a form can be so tedious?

Dale filled out the form via the link he was directed too, and submitted it to the appropiate department.  Good Grief!  The Netherlands are no longer accepting the form in foreign languages (and that is including English).  Trying to look at the bright side of things here despite it is a down right pain in the derriere. 

We now know what exactly Dale needs as well as the cost involved in getting this certificate, and for finially being able to see the light at the end of this tunnel, I am happy.

Dale`s Dutch is rusty, not to mention most of the words on the form are beyond his recogniation to which I give a big THANK YOU  to  Google Translator! 

I thought we were done with VOG, but I`m daring to be hopeful this attempt will be a home run.

Friday, 23 September 2011

Netherlands Police Check ~ Certicate of Good Conduct or VOG

Yes! and Finally!

We found someone who knows what we, rather Dale is suppose to do.  It was extremely frustrating trying to find someone who would get back to us on what it was we needed to do.  But with the help of someone from the Dutch embassy we managed to get back on track.  They sent us a link that had the appropriate forms to be filled out. 

The only glitch was our adoption practitioner said that she wasn't suppose to do the form letter we needed and that the agency had to do it.

Then our agency said that the adoption practitioner was to do it.  (images of another bout of ping pong with people danced before my eyes.)  So I emailed them both copying each other on what the other said and took myself out of the equation. 

The end result was that my adoption practitioner had the form that the agency needed and Voila! Cooperation!

Dale now has the form ready to send and it is another item checked off our list.

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Ukraine Adoption Update...(Netherlands Interpol check)

Does twiddling your thumbs count?

It is the waiting part that I find so tedious.  I called our agency worker yesterday to give her an update on our status which is pretty much the same.  Waiting on papers, but what is killing us is that Dale is having an extremely diffcult time trying to track down who to contact in regards to an Interpol check for the two years he was in Holland for.

No one is emailing us in regards to what is needed and how to go about this process so we can get it done.  Dale has done both the Dutch embassy here, the Canadian embassy there, the Netherland's version of the RCMP, and so far his requests have been met with silence. 

Our adoption practitioner says that it is a relatively quick process but it would be awesome if we could figure out who to contact so we can get started with the "quick" process. 

So we are at a total stand still until we can get this sorted out. 


Monday, 5 September 2011

Ukraine Change Up...

I kow that the Ukraine Government has a habit of changing things a lot when it comes to dealing with international adoption.  I am not complaining by any means (though it often does throw a wretch into adopting parents plans) in fact I am please that the government has taken such a strong interest in the welfare of their children.

I am a little slow on the up take on their latest change as out agency had informed me a couple of weeks ago that the Ukraine Governemt has issued a new change in which children over the age of 5 are only available for international adoption.  This is a moot point for us as we are hoping to adopt a girl 6-9 years old. 

I have read up a lot of RAD.  Reactive Attachment Disorder, which is a main concern when adopting orphans.  I believe that there is a need for people to look to adopting older children.  It bothers me when I tell people that we are adopting an older child and all they see are the negatitives.  As one relative put it recently, "that is a lot of money to put out for a bag load of problems."

I get their point, better than they do.  They want me to adopt a baby, or toddler.  Babies and toddlers make me exetremely uncomfortable, they are so fragile and I am not very good at figuring out their needs, though I do try to meet them.  I know I have had three babies of my own, but the idea of adopting an older child that I can relate too on a more personal level does appeal to me.

I've heard it before, and I'll say again.  Adoption isn't for the faint of heart.  Dale and I know that this is right for us, and we are willing to learn and adapt to meet our child's needs.  It bothers me when people can't see beyond the negativity of adopting. To me it is no different that giving birth to a special needs child, there are no guarantees: things go wrong, and things go right. You get the card you are dealt and deal with it the best that you can.

So to all those who thing we're making a big mistake, I say God Bless You! 

Sunday, 4 September 2011

The Last bits of Paper for Home Study


I can't believe it has taken this long to get our papers together for the homestudy report.  Dale still needs his Interpol report from the two years he lived in Holland.  One of my friends didn't send in her forms, (it was an exetremely busy Summer for her), and Dale is waiting on another friend to fill out forms for him (it turns out that you can't have recommendations from the same household).  All well, that is how things go.

Still it is at the nail biting stage for me.  We are so close to having step one completed, and then it is a couple of months till we get approval from the Ontario Government then another set of papers to be gathered that the agency needs.  I am hoping for a very speedy part two.  It has been a draining part one. Once we have the papers handed in, our adoption practitioner will do the home visit and meet with the boys. 

I wanted to be done this stage weeks ago!