I think our society looks too hard at parents nowdays. Parents are judged in a snapshot scene by how they talk to their kids, how they dress their kids, how their kids behave, how they behave, and personally I find it offensive. Someone I know overheard a mother saying that she would never take her child out in public in a sleeper (so she never did).
When we were married and had our first born all we pretty much had for him were sleepers donated to us. Not everyone has support, no one has perfect kids, and no one is a perfect parent (by society's standard).
For me a perfect parent is one who does what they can and does the best that they can. So what if the baby is out in public in sleepers? Or a little boy wears the same shirt for three days in a row?
Or a little girl goes to school with her hair a mess?
Being a parent is hard, being a great parent is more so. I am NOT a couch potato parent. I am actively involved with my kids, and have received high praise from professionals who have worked with my kids at how engaging my kids are despite their diffculties. My eldest according to them is a wonder. I've just recently had my two younger ones reassessed by someone new and they were just as impressed, if not more so. They even went so far to ask as "What do you do with them?"
I do what any parent should do:
I play with them.
I teach them by breaking things down to their understanding.
I work with their teachers,
I do field trips to help them learn
I let them plan day trips so they can share things with me.
I give them what they need to succeed.
And yet, to strangers I am a failure as a mom. My boys are unruly, but well mannered, unkempt most of the time, ( yes, my youngest has an issue with his clothes where he has to wear them for days in a row, but I am still working with him on it, and even then would anyone notice that I buy two or three the same? ~ probably not) and I have to pick my battles. My boys don't sit still in church, and they don't understand things like other kids. Me and my children have been outcast, sneered at, avoided by other parents who kids aren't LD.
Church leaders even went so far to have me teach my children Sunday school in the halls despite my efforts to explain that my children's learning levels were well below their peers, and this was their solution. Instead of putting them into a younger class where the language/concept would be easier for them, they made them feel punished because they were LD.
I guess my point is people will judge, critcize and just be aware of what is going on in front of them without ever seeing the whole picture, or even wanting too. There is no escaping the narrowed minded, short sighted, and wagging tongues.
If you are taking the time to invest in your children, meeting their needs, listening to them and letting them know they matter to you (and heaven knows it isn't always easy) then to me you are a perfect parent!
This will be my last post...at least until our adoption break is over.
Take care to all the perfect parents out there!