Thursday, 22 March 2012

Full Stop..

I don't know what to say.  The clothes I've purchased I will be giving to my niece and friends of family.  We'll wait for our adoption practitioner to get back to us to see what other steps she would advise.  I find it hard to accept certain family members words of comfort, most are sincere, but the ones who have been openly against us adopting, still stick in my craw. 

We aren't giving up.  We're just taking a break.    Personally, I am tired of taking breaks when things don't go smoothly.  I'm pissed, annoyed, and just want it done!  I want my daughter(s).  I know they are out there, I see them in my mind's eye, I have an empty room in my house waiting to be filled.  But despite my wants, there is another person in this relationship who needs a break. ~sigh~

So I will concede, and let Dale take a few steps back before we muddle our way through another adoption venture.  A tiny part of me wants to give up and just let it go, but it doesn't feel right.  We have been considering adoption for 5 years, and pursuing it for 3 now.  We've moved into a bigger home, renovated to put in a fifth bedroom upstairs.   We've jump through so many hoops, and invested so much time, effort, money, and heartache.

Our adoption agancy wants to talk to us about our decision not to follow through with our plans in the Ukraine, but I just want to let it go.  We can't do it, there is no way now. 

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