Home Study Papers Signed...

Four months along and finally we have pasted the first milestone.  Now we find ourselves in a holding patterned while we wait for our stamp of approval saying that we have the Ontario’s government’s permission to adopt, and the agency’s go ahead to start collecting the papers they are are in need of.

Dale’s VOG certificate came in the mail yesterday and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. 

I wish I could go into more details about some things (especially with what transpired in the past two weeks) but I won't.  I am too emotionally drained but needless to say there were bumps, bruises and hurt feelings along the way.  Nevertheless what is done is done and it is time to move forward.

I am excited, nervous and incredibly happy.  I pray that the fates will be kind.

Untitled...

This has been an extremely draining week.  If you've read my previous post then you can more or less gather what has happened.  I've decided that I'm not going to blog about the on goings just yet....but I will.   Things are still up in the air and are very senstive.  I'll post more later.

Homestudy Visit Done!

What a difference!  Compare to the first time I did this, this one a huge success.  I did warn our adoption practitioner that it would make for a crazy time, (just after school with my daycare kids) and it was, but the kids were good and happily decorating cupcakes while we toured the house with her. 

The only one glitch was hearing back from her that one of my friends still hadn't submitted the referral.  So I gave her another friend who is more than happy to do it for me.  I will add here make certain that your friends are willing to give you a good review/and be on time with submitting the referral. 

My emotions are drained, and my heart feels like it has been put through a wringer.  If the tables were turned I would not have done this to her.

*I've been debating about going into more depth with this, and decided that this isn't the time.  Just take my advice and be extremely selective about who you ask to do your referral.

Being Calm & Collect ~ Easier Said Than Done

It is amazing how some things can be amplified over the course of a night. I thought I had my need to have a perfect house under control, only to have lists of tasks jumping around in my head bringing along a surge of panic.  

So to this I am going to write a list and do the things on the list as most important and not worry about the smaller things like dusting the window sills, or touching up the chips of paint in the hallway, and do my best to remember no mother is perfect.

Preparing for Home Study Visit...

After finally getting the VOG (certificate of Good Conduct) forms to the Netherlands, we are schedule to have our home visit from our adoption practitioner next week. 

 I know when we went through this the first time around I was obsessed  with having the house perfect and that turned out to be a disaster of a visit.   The house was immaculate but the kids were too stressed out and nervous.  Their learning disabilities and behaviour hit the fan so to speak,  not that they were bad, but having Cyrus ask if he can have a glass of wine to drink, (which never happens) left me so flabbergasted I didn’t know  to say.  Needless to say I am not making that mistake again, I will remain calm so my kids will be calm.  Ever notice how parents are the spearhead of emotions, and when one is cranky everyone else follows suit?    

With this in mind I am aiming for clean and tidy instead of perfection.    

I might post some of the kids drawings on the fridge, or maybe on a bulletin board.  I haven’t decided on that.  We need to make changes to Preston’s routine, so a bulletin board may be the way we go.

But other than getting a lock box for the medicine I think we are pretty much all set.  Keeping my fingers crossed and taking plenty of relaxing breathes. 

Sibling Group Adoption... (International or not)

With everything that I`ve read I have to say that at some point I would love to adopt a sibling group.  Not just a small one but an insanely big one.  I am talking 5-7 kids, they are out there, and though I will give a cautionary warning that though adoption isn`t for the faint of heart, and adopting a sibling group would offer its own unique challenges.  It is on my life list of things I would like to do.

Despite our intial plan of adopting a pair of siblings, and reading up on R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder) we switched to adopt a single girl.  I don't regret this decision as it is not just myself that is involved.  However, I do tend to view this adoption more as getting "the feet wet before jumping into the lake" experience.  

With all my heart I want to open my home and my life to a large sibling group, and I hope that, that one day, will come soon enough. 

If you do wish to adopt a sibling group, take lots of time with the children before you make your final decision and be informed.  Some siblings groups have issues with jealousy, and view their siblings as threats rather then friends.  Living in different homes/orphanages can compound these views. 

Adopting a teenager can be a wonderful thing, don't be threatened if they take on the role of parent.  Work with them on it, they've been parenting their siblings for years, and that isn't easy to reliquish. 

On a final note, Life can royally suck. It kicks, bites, and even spews septic gunk at you.  But sometimes, just sometimes there is a soft bed, a kind word or even a smile that shows someone noticed you.  I want to give that to feeling of worth to others who have been through the worst of life.  And if the Fates be willing I will do so, again, and again, and again, and again.

AHH! Certificate of Good Conduct (Vog)

Why is something so simple as filling out a form can be so tedious?

Dale filled out the form via the link he was directed too, and submitted it to the appropiate department.  Good Grief!  The Netherlands are no longer accepting the form in foreign languages (and that is including English).  Trying to look at the bright side of things here despite it is a down right pain in the derriere. 

We now know what exactly Dale needs as well as the cost involved in getting this certificate, and for finially being able to see the light at the end of this tunnel, I am happy.

Dale`s Dutch is rusty, not to mention most of the words on the form are beyond his recogniation to which I give a big THANK YOU  to  Google Translator! 

I thought we were done with VOG, but I`m daring to be hopeful this attempt will be a home run.