Coming to terms...

I am not saying that this is the end of our journey, because I don't believe it is.  Life has been hitting me hard these past couple of months since we've been home, and though I am not depressed, I am caught in waves of sorrow.  Having to come home without a daughter is hard, mixed in with the passing of my beloved grandmother it brings another loss that weighs heavy in my heart. 

I haven't been writing much, at least not here, because it forces me to face what I don't want and that is we are at a stand still.  We have a massive debt now that needs to be paid off before we can go forward again.  Next time I believe we will go through the hosting program first, the agency can't make any promises that the hosting child will want to be adopted, or that she is even able to be adopted but I believe in the long run this might be the way to go.

Adoption Agency...

I am sort of annoyed they haven't contacted us since we've gotten back.  At the same time I was relieved when they didn't call us in the first couple of days, giving us time to deal with our disappointment and such, but still we do have our 3rd visit and our hoping that by some miracle we can do it.   We've been home for almost a month so we are going to bite the bullet and find out what our options are. 

Keeping our fingers crossed and sending prayers to the powers that be.